Study says romantic preferences fall by
wayside once you meet a potential dating partner.
So you're flocking to
online dating sites with a wish list of ideal traits that you desire
in a mate. Not so fast!
Once you actually
meet a potential dating partner, those ideals are likely to fall by
the wayside, according to new research from Northwestern University
and Texas A&M University.
People liked
potential partners that matched their ideals more than those that
mismatched their ideals when they examined written descriptions of
potential partners, but those same ideals didn't matter once they
actually met in person, according to a new study by psychologists
Paul W. Eastwick, Eli J. Finkel and Alice H. Eagly.
"People have ideas
about the abstract qualities they're looking for in a romantic
partner," said Eastwick, assistant professor of psychology at Texas
A&M University and lead author of the study. "But once you actually
meet somebody face to face, those ideal preferences for traits tend
to be quite flexible."
Say you prefer a
partner who, online or on paper, fits the bill of being persistent.
"After meeting in person, you might feel that, yeah, that person is
persistent, but he can't compromise on anything. It's not the
determined and diligent kind of persistent that you initially had in
mind," Eastwick said.
The idea is that the
whole is greater than the sum of its parts, said Finkel, associate
professor of psychology at Northwestern University and co-author of
the study.
"People are not
simply the average of their traits," he said. "Knowing that somebody
is persistent, ambitious and sexy does not tell you what that person
is actually like. It doesn't make sense for us to search for
partners that way."
"Thinking about this
or that feature of a person apart from taking the whole person into
account doesn't predict actual attraction," Eagly said. "While some
online dating sites have video features that provide some context,
generally people are matched on their answers to specific questions
that do not capture the whole person."
Scores from answers
to questions such as "How much money do you earn?" or "Are you
extroverted?" provide two-dimensional facts rather than
three-dimensional humanness, Finkel said.
For those seeking
prospective partners, don't be surprised if you end up ignoring your
preconceived notions about what would make an ideal mate.
"Based on those
ideals, you might end up liking a person upon meeting face to face,
or you might have the opposite reaction," Finkel said. As Eastwick
notes, it is not uncommon for someone to say, 'If you had tried to
set me up with this guy, I would never have gone out with him, but
I'm so glad I did!'"
The study, "When and
Why Do Ideal Partner Preferences Affect the Process of Initiating
and Maintaining Romantic Relationships?" appeared in the Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology.
For more information
www.northwestern.edu /
(MDN) | 
